There's Too Much Pokèmon In This Fashion Game - A Review Of Pokèmon X

When people think about what a 'perfect' Pokèmon game would be, they normally think of a huge open world with hundreds of pocket boys/girls, deep combat mechanics and maybe even MMO-like multiplayer. Not me though, my perfect game would only consist of these elements:

• Bidoof as your starter, which you then nickname "Bigoof". Bigoof will also be your only pokey boy because you are banned from buying Pokeballs due to your dark and mysterious past that is revealed over the course of the game.
• When you finish the game Bigoof jumps out of the 3DS, into your bedroom and he becomes your pet in real life and you can love him forever because Bigoof is eternal and he will save us from our sins.
• Many clothes to buy.

Unfortunately none of the games I played as a child (Gen 1 - 4) had ANY of these elements, putting me off the franchise for years. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out recently that you can buy clothes in Pokèmon X! That's a third of my dream game!

What kind of styles has Gamefreak given us? The game takes place in the French inspired Kalos region so maybe something avant-garde? Can you put clothes on your Bidoof? Can you put a cute bow-tie on the head of your Bidoof to bring out his feminine side?

These are all questions that raced through my head as I was booting the game up. "So many possibilities!" I thought, unaware of the disappointment that awaited me.

It starts like all the others. The Pokèmon professor explains what a pokè pal is and you choose your name and whether you are a boy or girl. This is all standard procedure and the only surprising thing to me was that the professor was so handsome, but that's a story for another time.

Now the game starts. You wake up in your bedroom then go outside and meet your neighbour. Then your neighbour's like "Hey you wanna go meet some other people?", and you have to go because this is apparently Telltale game now and none of the choices I make affect anything. After you are introduced to all your new "friends", the handsome professor gives you your first pokky man. I chose Fennekin.

You are given a Pokèdex and are told to travel across the entire country. Your "friends" then do more talking and everyone leaves.

Did going through that seem kinda tedious to you? You may have been wondering where the actual review is. Well, NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FELT PLAYING THROUGH THAT!

It's been five minutes and I haven't seen one shop! WHERE IS THE FASHION?! I was promised fashion but I've been stuck wearing this stupid blue jacket and skipping through dialogue I don't care about!

Around ten minutes later I reach the first town. It has a clothes shop! Great! They must have just been holding it back so you don't get too confused at the start with so many new mechanics being introduced. I run in with my wallet already out of my pocket ready to throw at the first jacket I see.

There are no jackets.

There are only hats.

Four hats.

They are all just as ugly as my jacket.

The shops get a little better as the game goes on, but that experience really set the mood for the entire thing. Even catching a Bidoof couldn't make it any better. They messed up one of the only things I've ever wanted and that made me sad.

Maybe I wanted too much? I didn't expect Gamefreak to partner up with Comme des Garçons and create ground breaking designer clothes (although Eidos Montreal did that with Acronymn for Deux Ex and it was awesome). But I would have liked a little more effort in these pieces.

It wasn't all doom and gloom though. There was one piece of dialogue that I enjoyed.

Well said little girl whose name I've forgotten.